Confessions Of An Epic Dreamer

Pendulum.

2010-09-09T07:24:00.007-05:00

That's just how I feel, like a pendulum. Extreme mood swings.

Losing a loved one, a pending trip overseas, emotional catharsis, some conflict, dilemmas, choices, a lot of coping to do.

I don't know how, or why.

Hopefully time will pass swiftly, and heal in the process.

In thought,

Prayag.

God uses Kerastase?

2010-08-22T11:56:00.004-05:00

Thought stuck in my head: I'm bored of conceptualizing God to be a serene figure in flowing white robes, with incredibly soft Kerastase hair and a benevolent gaze in his eyes, along with a perfect white smile. I also went to the extent of imagining God with great manicured nails, but that's another story. ;)

Why this boring typical image of God? Why not imagine God to be whomever you would like God to be? (FYI, whomever doesn't allow for specimens like Govinda, Marilyn Manson etc.) Ideally if God were a man, I'm sure He'd be nothing less than a D & G supermodel. If God was a woman I'd vote my life out for Madonna to be God. What awesomeness. I'm sure she's ROCK heaven in her flexible figure and tight bodysuits and sky high heels with extreme music and killer attitude. I'd love to pray to someone like Madonna.

I'm so pepped up! ; My weekly off is tomorrow. Yay. One day of respite from the morbid and wasted atmosphere at that place. Little Rat is quitting soon, I am quite upset. She was my partner in crime, fellow bitch and shoulder to crib on at that place. I will miss her, big time. Sigh. Now who will play dirty politics with me? *sigh*.

I realized that at each of the temporary workplaces I was at, I made a minimum of 1 friend. I miss the girls at FUCIA so much, its great that Naheed and me are still in touch and are as chummy as ever.

I think I have had incredible learning experiences at each of these places. So many lessons, coming across different people, dealing with them, (FIGHTING too :P ).

I have resolved to become a kinder and more supportive person to Better Half. I think its required, rather than me being incredibly selfish and difficult all the time. I will miss throwing tantrums though, sigh. Sometimes I think Better Half also doubles as a parent figure in my life. I guess I can do without everyone except Better Half.

The current situation I face with my skin is NOT making me happy. I mean after spending so much money AND time on this dermatologist, why is it that my face is experiencing break-outs and still bearing marks of a war-zone? Bloody hell, dermo lady needs a kick. I wish I never had any skin issues. I wish I had pristine clear and clean skin, like those Estee Lauder bitches. If only..

Yesterday I watched a program on Discovery about dogs gone crazy; where dogs go mad and attack humans. I'm seriously reconsidering acquiring another pet later in life with Better Half. What if Better Half and me fight and the pooch comes and rips my face off? What if it attacks my belongings, my clothes, my sanity? I think I will perish if such an event were to take place. Hence, I think my plan of keeping potted plants will be achieved. I'll even name the plants and talk to them. Perhaps we'll celebrate their birthdays by bathing them in Evian. Hmm.

I think I want an amazing dark navy blue, military brass-buckled, super slim sharp cut Burberry trench coat. Yes Sonzal, a TRENCHCOAT. I promise to only wear on my trips away from the tropics. :P

I also can't wait to buy that Louis Vuitton Pilot Case in Taiga Leather. The day I get into an airline I'm gonna make my wishlist and work towards it in full power.

Most importantly: current question in my mind - Does lack of sex create unwanted sadistic/loser-ish tendencies in people? Does it also turn them into loyal-blind-I-LOVE-SLAVERY-donkeys?

Watching a fake Katrina Kaif promoting Pantene on TV,

Prayag.

A downpour of trouble.

2010-08-17T22:26:00.002-05:00

Yesterday has by far been the worst day in recent times. You know how trouble comes in all at once? That's exactly what happened. Personal + Temporary job problem at one shot = Absolute BS.

I'm quite tired of people. I really am. So much so that I lack any kind of patience or consideration towards anyone's feelings/thoughts/other nonsense. My temper may be terrible, but to instigate me and make me waste all my energy at you, is pointless. Also the fact that you make me say dirty horrible things which I HAVE to say to shut you up so that you don't end up chewing my brain and causing me to enter a coma.

What's even more hilarious? Going and telling on me to common allies and then getting me told off, etc. Well guess what, I don't feel bad. Instead, I feel even more bitter and unapologetic for what I said in anger (which I didn't mean). Why does this high school teeny bopper mentality never end?

I think I've had too much drama when it comes to people and fighting, to really give a rat's arse anymore to what anyone has to say or do. I'm fucking tired of explaining myself and being at the receiving end of things. I don't want to see reason, and neither do I want to get out of my "childish" ways. LET.ME.BE.

Temporary workplace added to the existing drama of last night with Ms. Horse-Tail-Hair messaging me about how I left the store on time and didn't wait for colleague, who conveniently decided to stay back till 11.30 pm since he was carried away and FELT like doing extra work. So how does that become my problem? And why am I being made to face the music for that? Either ways, today at work I have to listen to her bickering, perhaps yelling, and keep quiet. Oh well.

Navroz dinner plans are scheduled with D tomorrow. In the midst of all this madness, meeting her and sitting quietly somewhere, is something I highly look forward to. I don't want to be around anybody, I don't want to talk, I don't want to hear, I don't want to know. I just want to be left alone, minding my own business and not really getting involved with anyone or anything.

Suddenly the Bangalorean prison seems to be such a perfect escape. However, escapism is no longer me. Even though I may be highly tempted to take that option and act. I think its best to fight it out, in true fightercock style, and remain the undisputed champion of facing trouble and managing to stay sane throughout.

And frankly its always best to ensure that nobody is indispensable in life. Makes things a whole lot easier. I may still be a bit angry at the moment, but I will definitely NOT forget all this, neither will I let go.

Hoping for a sunny morning after this sudden intense gloom,

Prayag.

Predators and Aisha, Bitches and more.

2010-08-10T12:19:00.004-05:00

So the past week saw me at the multiplex watching Aisha and Predators in a span of 48 hours. I enjoyed both movies thoroughly, Predators especially *surprise surprise*, with dread-locked aliens who spew green blood and make weird noises, and hilarious reminders of a certain old cow running around with a butcher knife slaughtering swines. Thankfully this time there was no sequence of the aliens having sex and screaming/moaning/whatever you call it. Phew.

Aisha had fabulous fashion and HOW. Too bad Sonam Kapoor's attempts at channeling her inner Blair turned out to be such a dud. An overload of Dior + Chanel + Manish Arora was overshadowed by the poor acting and a weak script. I didn't quite understand how Aisha was branded "judgemental" and "selfish" when all she did was try and play Stupid Cupid and of course, again, TRY to be Blair. I love Blair, for the record. :D

The workplace is as amazingly rotten as ever. The 24/7 PMSing cow vents her ire at the little pesky mouse, who squeaks in retaliation and plants time bombs of disaster here and there, obviously masterminded by fantastic me. I think I deserve a pat on the back and an Oscar award for brilliant performances at work; be it a filthy and aggressive verbal showdown, or a flood of self-pity and sympathy gaining, I've done it all bitches.

S has become my shrink these days. I routinely spill my inner maladies and worries to her, whilst she sits and patiently consoles/comforts/advises me. May Gaga bless her.

Tarot babe tells me the parents and me are going to battle it out next year, over a certain MAJOR issue. Wow, what fun, can hardly wait for the fireworks. I love tarot babe's fat obese pug "Khaloo". He licked my foot and made me ugh, but then I patted him and all was well.

And oh, bought dark green jeans from Zara yesterday! Friday night is THE night to wear it, we shall drink, be merry and scandalize Bombay. Ah, the magic of S-PO-P.

Lots of love and red wine,

Prayag.

PS: I also feel like a fanatic pilot these days. Constant thought on my mind: I WANT TO FLY!!!! Including terrible and UGH-worthy lines like "I WANNA TOUCH THOSE CLOUDS AND PUSH IN THE THROTTLE, WANNA TAKE THE BIRD UP IN THE SKY AND GREASE MY LANDING". Forgive me S, I know I have committed sacrilege. xx

Banter so far.

2010-07-07T00:23:00.003-05:00

S and me are busy getting our stuff sorted these days. That coupled with the hectic and boring schedule that is temporary job, often gets to me.

I'm so frustrated with the whole deal of working 9 hours and committing social harakiri. I hope things change for the better, and soon.

Favorite airline and Po-Mo may soon merge. The interview and all that jazz is coming up soon so I hope the two of them clear it, more than anything.

For the first time I don't feel angry/bitter/discriminated because I've begun to firmly believe that everyone's time comes at its own respective pace. And that its good to be happy for those whom you care about, and still have faith. (Even though a small consolation is that S and me are in the same boat).

Bangalore trip went well. June 28th-July1st. I like meeting the parents for a duration of max 3 days after a stint of a few months since it keeps things very merry and avoids any kind of fighting.

Other than that, 2010 zooms ahead, its July already. Lets hope the year ends on a good note and everything becomes super fantastic.

Prayag.

Finicky DGCA and pending adventures.

2010-06-26T11:12:00.003-05:00

Medical renewal is just around the corner. I am freaking out. Blood and urine report just came in today evening and the pus cells are acting funny as are the Neutrophils. Ugh. Why is DGCA SO finicky!?! Anyway, I'm taking the tests again tomorrow. Hello scary needle. :|

S and me are planning our great escapade, to make it sound all dramatic and fun. I can hardly wait.

In other news, Favorite Airline is hiring soon, that's what the grapevine says. We aren't ready with our licenses yet, so all we gotta do as of now is to sit and sulk.

48 hours with the parents sounds pleasant to me. Anything more than that and I'm sure we will find ourselves in the midst of a war zone. Oh well, bah.

I'm gonna go wash face pack off and worry for a bit.

Prayag,

Boo Tuesday, Maggi, Piggy Squealing and more.

2010-06-13T10:57:00.004-05:00

I have an exam scheduled for the day after tomorrow. Yes, the annoying radio exam.

Whilst I listen to Piggy M rant about how she needs to begin studying for Airline WOW's written test, and successfully exasperating me in the process, I am also partly dreading the impending exam. Its being held in Chennai; which means I need to fly out of here on Tuesday morning and I'll be back the same night. Phew. I hope some justice is done to the money spent on tickets and I pass the darn thing. Its annoying and HOW!

Work is going alright. All thanks to the mutual understanding between me and my two colleagues. Even though Manager Horse Tail tends to be a rather sour faced lemon at most times, I have learnt to ignore her and just carry on with my job. Its best to enter work-finish your job-LEAVE. Sonzal is right, there's no need to get too involved with anything nor anyone, after all, this is temporary.

Sheila and I are busy figuring out where we can do our recency. The tension with regards to job openings is giving me a headache. Why can't time just wait the fuck for us and then let the job openings come out once we are all set? Wishful thinking I tell you.

Porus and Piggy M are arguing about the blue bucket being filled on time. Piggy M is as usual, shirking off responsibility, whilst Porus has clearly given up on trying to make her see reason.

Today is Father's birthday. I wished him. On enquiry, I discovered his itinerary for the day comprised = Temple trip-Nidhi's place-home. How bad-ass.

Tomorrow is my appointment at the dermatologist's. Yay! Can't wait. I love anything that's got something to do with experiments and tweaking my appearance. :D :D

I must go now. Its time to study. *Sighhh*.

All my loving,

Prayag.

June 2010 : Life so far.

2010-06-08T01:04:00.003-05:00

I almost complete a year since I moved to Bombay. Living it and loving it, for the most part.

Changed jobs again, been at the new place since April 2010. Apart from the usual grievances, it pays rent, bills and still keeps me comfortable. So overall I guess, my state of mind about this job is "Satisfactory".

Flying: is at a standstill for the moment, no wait, since like I passed my exams in October 09. The radio exam and the pending flying requirement irk me, but then I guess everything happens when its really meant to.

In January, Mr. Life Saver was diagnosed with the terrible, terrible Cancer. Its absolutely unfair and unfortunate that something so awful could happen to good people. Either ways, belief and faith work miracles, so here's hoping we sail through this crisis.

Parents and Czar are living large in Bangalore. I met them in December last year, and now I'll be seeing them again end of the month. Oh well.

The monsoon has begun to show its weepy sadistic face in this city. Agreed that its a relief from the morbid humid heat Bombay experiences, but I absolutely HATE getting wet in the rain, or having dirt and muck on me. Ugh. The rain is best enjoyed when one is indoors, comfortably seated with some comfort food and good company.

90% of my time is devoted to obsessive thoughts about how this phase of life will soon be over and I will be a hotshot pilot in an airline. The thought offers so much solace to me, to know that I am not permanently doomed; earning a 20,000+ salary per month, wasting my life away.

The good news is that my dermatologist has worked wonders on my skin AND I lost weight. The mirror never looked so damn good. :D :D

I think I ought to blog more often, but then that's what I say every time, but laziness overpowers me. :/

Anyway, time to get back to "work".

Sleepy, disinterested but full of hope,

Prayag.

Relief and Life in Bombay.

2009-09-21T23:47:00.006-05:00

Happy news and updates first:

My DGCA exam results got out earlier this month. Imagine my jubilation on discovering that I PASSED BOTH MY PAPERS IN ONE SHOT?! I was speechless, in shock, utterly amazed. FINALLY, it happened. Finally, I am DONE studying for those nasty papers that would never leave me in peace. I think a great deal of my inner angst and misery vanished along with the declaration of the results.

The following day of the result declaration saw me taking an off from work and leaving for a 2 day trip to Lonavala with Porus and the girls. Oh so much fun! It was a break much needed. I felt SO refreshed. Ah.

Since then everything has been going well. My Mon-Fri schedule consists of: Waking up at 7.30-Leaving for the Bus Stop at 8.15-Reaching the Rail Station at 8.45-Reaching Bandra at 9.05-Catching the "Sharing" rick to work-Finally reaching work at 9.15-Whole day at work-Striving to leave on time at 6.30pm-Meet friends-Reach home by 11-Sleep.

On weekends I stay at Po's place. Its been quite a mechanical schedule but then its perfectly alright. No complaints as such. Apart from managing finances that is.

To live in Bombay by yourself and manage everything on a shoestring budget is horrendous. Thankfully I never had to face the brunt of it, all thanks to my guardian angel [you know who you are] :) I often hear colleagues at the present job talking about salaries and where they see themselves five years down the line. And I sit there listening to them, thinking and hoping that may I soon get back to flying and touch the skies - literally, monetarily, etc.

Its hard to live in this city, that's for sure. I'm not complaining, like I said, I'm doing okay PLUS my guardian angel always looks out for me. I guess I'm highly lucky. I often see homeless people sleep on the pavements at night, and it fills me with a sense of relief, that I am not one of THEM. And it makes me realise how fortunate I am. I know typically I'm supposed to feel sympathy for them etc, but I beg to differ.

Anyway, I have found a new job now and I can't wait to get started with it come October '09. Lets hope it goes well. Things should get better since the renumeration is quite nice there too.

Things are alright otherwise I guess, I have one tiny exam left to finish. I'll be in Delhi next month for it. And all this after taking an oath of never returning to Delhi because I hated it so much. Yuck. Anyway, its going to be a 2 day affair at the max. And if I remember correctly, I was there at the same time, 3 years back, busy studying for those horrid exams which I NOW cleared. 3 years back - Delhi- Beginner. 3 years later - Delhi - CPL holder with one last exam left. Sigh. So much has happened in the last 3 years it makes me feel ancient at times. haha.

In conclusion, I am a much happier person, as of this very moment. I am not experiencing depression nor meaninglessness. Things are brightening up. I'm, RELIEVED. *touchwood*.

Prayag.

First class is SO out of class!

2009-08-31T23:28:00.003-05:00

So as usual, my daily commute consists of the bus ride from home to the Andheri Station-The local train from Andheri to Bandra-and then the autorickshaw ride to Carter road on sharing basis. The highlight but of course, is the train.

I am a First Class pass holder and it doesn't cause me to swell/bloat/explode with pride. I am rather irked and disgusted with the way people behave on a train. Take for example this morning which made me want to disappear asap. Think about perspiration-claustrophobia-aggression. Yuck. I was the recipient of the first two, the aggression was happening elsewhere, between two abusive, loud and shabby cretins who thought they owned the railway system. Idiots. I don't understand the point of a First Class compartment. Just because most of the commuters in that compartment are in formals, whilst the Second Class brats are not, makes them better? NO. They are all the same. Post train rides always make me want to go take a bath again. If only something could be done. Perhaps an astronaut's suit which won't bring me in direct contact with anyone.

The estate broker, Radhika, through whom I got present accomodation, is quite a shady skank. I feel robbed. Pardon the abusive language but I'm seriously exasperated with these people whose sole aim is to get rich by exploiting everyone else. Perhaps Sheila, Porus and I should throw stones at her office and break the glass. Adulterating her lunch (sev puri) with rat poison is another appealing idea.

I am also a bit uneasy about some people taking vacations overseas. Its not the clinginess. Its just the fear. Obviously I can't get too personal here, so I shall refrain from continuing.

Last evening the girls said I lost weight and I look stressed out. Well, what can one expect? I haven't been eating lunch on a regular basis since the last 2 weeks. I really miss home. lol. I just want someone to cook for me and feed me nice food.

Thursday ought to be a holiday, its Ganpati's last day.

Request to whoever it may concern: TLC needed. ASAP.

Prayag.

New job, New week.

2009-08-30T23:41:00.002-05:00

So I started working of late. At this ad agency in Carter Road, Bandra. I guess the move to Bombay finally did happen. Work is good, no complaints whatsoever. I miss the comfort back home, but then again, its the case of the grass being greener on the other side. Renting out a place, the daily commute by bus-train to work, isn't exactly my idea of ideal comfort but then, I guess I might as well be happy with what I've got than be miserable.

Its a monday and I don't feel too enthusiastic. Has the legendary monday-morning-blues bug bitten me at last? tsk. I don't feel like socialising suddenly. Suddenly I feel like I am wallowing in misery and squalor. I hate being so dependent on money. I hate that everytime I pull out my wallet and spend, I count the remainder that's left, which sends me into a panic.

My monday morning hasn't started on a very good note. A narration of an event at tea has made me feel that a certain situation in life is rather unfortunate, since it has inconvenienced some people around me.

As usual, my final solution to everything is escapism. If only.

Prayag.

What goes around FOR SURE comes back around.

2009-07-04T06:27:00.002-05:00

Karma is a bitch. One better be afraid of it for the consequences for a person's bad karma are merciless.

I realize that the bad karma I have executed in the past has turned everything upside down in my life, by blowing up in my face 3 days back. Although I sadly can't go public with what has happened(as usual) for fear of being found out and also for the sake of not washing my dirty linen in public, being cryptic as much as I can, is all that I can do.

I have made many mistakes in the past 3 years. My adamant and difficult behavior has been a cause of agony to a person whom I haven't taken seriously enough nor respected nor reciprocated in ways I should have. How I have wronged this person. My nasty temper, disrespectful and ignorant attitude has just added to the negativity and the cracks. 3 days back when this wake-up call splattered all over my face, how I felt ruined & how let-down and worthless I felt.

It was then, that I began to realize how my actions and the similar mistakes I made in the past have made that person feel the same way, as I feel today.

This horrendous incident has made me sit up and take notice. It has made me conceive respect and has made me begun to truly appreciate and value the presence of this person in my life. I think, I am done with my old ways of being a headstrong egoistic temperamental nasty grumpy arsehole. The 3 day old issue, was a mere obvious superficial effect, of the underlying grave illness. And I have never felt more strongly about anything else. Instead of blaming the person for committing a mistake which caused this issue, I blame myself for sowing the seeds of agony which have ultimately grown and destroyed my peace of mind.

To the one this is regarding: you know who you are. I want you to know that the past, is the past. I wish to put it all behind and start afresh, so that we can direct ourselves to a better tomorrow. I don't care if its risky to even post this here, because I couldn't have expressed myself any better.

To the ones who know about this: well, I have woken up.

And to myself: I thank myself, for using good judgement this time, and for having taken this constructively, learnt from it, and acted upon it, with my wisdom and grace intact, for once.

Prayag.

R.I.P Jacko, India's Got Talent, Mood Swing.

2009-06-27T15:18:00.005-05:00

So basically Michael Jackson has died. And my sympathy and surprise over the whole issue has morphed into extreme annoyance all thanks to people on my friends' list on Facebook splashing R.I.P MJ and other such things all over my homepage. Ugh. SO ANNOYING. HE IS DEAD. STOP WITH THE MANIA. People can't even let someone die in peace.

I saw the first episode of India's Got Talent tonight on Colors. Apart from the joke that one of their anchors, Nikhil Chinappa who I think has totally NO talent and doesn't belong on the show, overall the program was alright. It was nice to see people from small towns of the country executing brilliant performances. I quite liked it.

Also, of late, maybe since the last few days, my mood has been upbeat and more optimistic than ever. I am SO glad and relieved about it because now my days pass by nicely and there is lesser drama in the house. Although mother dearest continues to crib and whine, but things seem tolerable.

I have also begun to exercise control over my temper. I am already experiencing fantastic results!

Today I terminated an acquaintance I had maintained with somebody for over 5 years, within a few seconds. Reason being the person was being stupidly disrespectful although he thought he was highly hilarious (a common misconception experienced by many). This obviously did not go down too well with me and he was off my networking lists etc within a jiffy. I guess my desire to weed out unwanted elements has grown so strong that now I have no patience to handle people who fail to maintain civility and other things in their dealings with me. I mean sure, this might be drastic, but you know what, good riddance.

I realized I am a mother-dearest-food-addict. Alas!

Tomorrow we are supposed to go to this family friend's place in the evening and one of their kids is a real annoying snoopy deprived humbug. I personally refer to this person as "Abercrombie & Fitch". Yes there is a big reason behind this naming but I will not reveal it here for fear that this blog might be discovered by the humbug and I will be in trouble with the parents. :P

And now I must go to bed in a while, sleep & wake up to a super fantastic Sunday!

Prayag.

Love Sex Magic

2009-06-25T13:46:00.004-05:00

O.M.G.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTYT-SiZeFo

I am head over heels that new song. O Ciara what have thou done! Thou have successfully grabbed my eyeballs towards thy magnificent self and my ears gravitate towards thy enchanting and smoldering voice. Alas. Hotness has happened.

Yes everyone, yes, this song is my latest love. I heard it randomly on "E! News" tonight and I was instantly smitten. I want to be all about the Love Sex Magic. I want to be as devastating as Ciara and Justin boy in the video. One of my outrageous dreams is to open a girls' high school and turn them into Ciaras dressed like THAT, dancing and singing like that PLUS a body like that!

Epic comment uttered by me to Delshad a few minutes ago: Ciara's bottom is a force of nature.

In other news, Mother is back from her hospital vacation. The viral has decided to leave her, and suddenly I am feeling ill. Czar is asleep. Father is cribbing about how his balance is depreciating nonstop all thanks to me making STD calls. It can't be helped dear father, this is the price you have to pay for disabling the STD facility from the landline.

Got a hair-cut today, must nourish with a different shampoo and conditioner this time. Also, skin has begun to clear out big time. Woot Dr. Gurcharan !

Bombay trip I am ecstatically looking forward to. I will study hard this time and play JUST A BIT. Promise to self. *nods*.

At this juncture I must sign off and waste time on Facebook. Update soonish!

Prayag.

Bombing exams, Realizations & Czar's Baby Joy.

2009-06-23T12:36:00.004-05:00

I am bored. I am fed up. So basically the written exam's results came out and I bombed by a narrow margin of 4 marks. The radio exam help in Chennai I bombed because of some reason. I'm so disillusioned with the whole license conversion thing that now I can no longer be bothered/affected by it. All I can do is to just work, attempt the exam, wait for the result, so on & so forth.

Albeit in a way I am glad that the publication of the result brought about some revolutionary changes within me. Somehow I now feel very bored and "done" with some people. I don't wish to communicate nor affiliate myself as much as I did earlier. I guess its good in a way. Everything and everyone in life is here to teach us a lesson & I am learning my lessons, which is a good sign.

Another good thing of late I have started doing is to try as much as I can and refrain from wishing ill upon those who spite me so as to avoid bad karma upon myself. VERY VERY difficult to execute but oh well, I'm trying my bestest.

In other news, I am moving to Bombay in July. To study. To work harder. To prove a point to myself. To make myself realize that failing is not the end. And also to make myself regain faith and confidence within me.

At home, things are alright. Mother dearest is currently on a short stint at the hospital all thanks to the viral fever that's been doing the rounds in Bangalore. No biggie, just rest is what she needed according to the Doc. Father dearest is busy with office, busy with passing comments at me and the things I do or say on the phone. Ignorance is Bliss comes to my rescue each time such an event occurs.

Czar is soon to become a father. *rolls eyes*. I just somehow find the thought of that highly bizarre. A dog who is a kid himself being a father. Tsk. Though the jerk has started snarling at me on and off. I keep my distance, mostly because I'm scared at having something bitten off.

That's all I have for now. More soon.

Prayag.

Done. Finally.

2009-03-16T11:15:00.002-05:00

I am not even going to justify my laziness/not updating the blog regularly. I reached India a month ago, went to Bombay for an exam, came back and life is back to square one (which is being at home 24/7 and remaining depressed).

This evening, I violently arrived at the conclusion that, I AM DONE. Yes, I am done tolerating and succumbing to every single stupid and outrageous remark my parents make. I am done having to listen to their hypocrisy and bearing their double-standard sickening behavior. Although this is my blog, I will not disclose the reason that catalyzed this decision in me. All I can say is, my parents don't let me breathe. And since they don't let me breathe, I must leave. I have decided to find a job in Bombay at the earliest, and walk out. However, for the sake of diplomacy, I am going to be very fake and nice to them about it to their faces, when I finally do inform them that I am leaving home.

Why do some people think that they have the right to boss and bully people into being subservient to their stupid whims? Why must I have to listen, listen well and obey? Why am I not allowed to have a say in matters of my own prescription? My parents somehow think that everything about me including my personal life is THEIR business. They actually have the nerve to tell me that. Quite frankly, after having lived with these two people for 20 years (I lived 1 year of peace and tranquility in the USA, away from them), I have arrived at the conclusion that I don't want to ever be a parent.

In other news, Czar continues to sleep, eat, dream and preen. There is no maidservant at the moment. I had to sweep the floors in my house yesterday, it was a nice exercise. I fixed myself Maggi and chicken 'n' cheese nuggets for dinner. I have locked myself in my room, my only sanctuary, in this crazy house. May god help me. Amen.

Prayag.

This Morning.

2008-12-13T22:55:00.003-06:00

I woke up this morning, breaking away from a series of bizarre dreams involving a close ally and her boyfriend. I called her immediately and narrated the various episodes to her, lest I forget.

This morning I also woke up to the sound of noise, and the feeling that flying is going slowly, owing to the weather which is still being a total brat. *sigh*. I don't get it. Why can't it just remain all nice and dandy, let me get done with flying and then go into its bullshit mode? Bah.

In other news, I got my iPod. *big grin*. Pic is below. I still haven't begun using it though. I'm still waiting for its protective case to arrive; I'm afraid of scratching it etc. So, yeah.

Pooja has gone to Dubai today. For a 3 week vacation. Perhaps by the time she returns I will be back in Bangalore with my amazing parents and Czar. I do have some things planned out though. Studying for the exams and joining yoga classes with Nidhi being some of them.

I miss my old blogs at times, I also miss life back in India, and thats mainly because then I had so much to write/type about. Its gotten so boring here. I don't live in MY apartment anymore. I had to move out. I live with 4 other mortals now. They are nice people though, so all is well. The kitchen is an absolute nightmare, there's a roach party happening all the time. To say I wish to throw up seeing it would be the understatement of the day.

I want to get back to India and find a job to pass my time and make a quick buck. I also want to take a vacation. And then I want to end up in an airline asap and move to Bombay.

I cannot get over how BORED I am. It is incredibly horrid. I just sit at home all day and night doing nothing, but gaining weight. I gained 10 kg since I came to this country. But I have faith that I will lose all this extra weight and regain my rightful place in my jeans. :P

My hair has grown grown grown. It annoys me at times but then I guess its all good. Perhaps I should experiment with it? Or maybe I should play safe and let it be.

In a way I will miss the US intensely. Mainly because I love the freedom and space that I have enjoyed out here. I cringe going back in a way, since it will be back to the same old nagging and rubbish. Bah. *NEED-TO-MOVE-OUT-ASAP*.

I am going to begin working on Wishlist 2009 soon. But before that, there is a lot to be taken care of. I hope I don't lag behind schedule. So much needs to be done. I'm tired.

I have to go help in the kitchen now. UGH. Update soon.

Prayag.

2008-11-10T22:56:00.003-06:00

Living alone is actually quite alright contrary to what I had anticipated it to be. Yes girls, boys and other living beings; I live on my own now. Porus has left for India last week. Eating frozen food is becoming quite a bother. Will cook. blah. Will try.

I've resolved to lose weight. I plan to start going on a run tomorrow onwards. I'm done gazing into the mirror and sighing, jeans not fitting, all of that depressing nonsense.

I miss my maidservant more than anybody in this world right now. I heart her. My customized shoes are supposed to be delivered anytime. The wait is what makes me totally upset. Must learn to be more patient.

In other news, flying etc is going okay. My instructor is off for a week so I guess I can delightfully spend it with lots of sleep, some studying and other nice things to kill time.

The other day I spoke with Porus on the phone (he's in Bombay now) and the noise in the background drove me crazy. I'll miss the peace and quiet of Addison. *Sigh*

Time is up. Dinner is ready. *poof*

Prayag.

Back.

2008-08-12T20:47:00.003-05:00

I'm back, from my sabbatical which was caused by an intense phase of laziness and monotony.

I'm a Private Pilot now and am also on the Instrument stage. Porus is on his commercial stage and by the looks of it he should be leaving by the end of October. I'm upset. Who is going to cook yummy food and take care of everything in the house now, my days of glory are over.

I'm bored and saturated with Addison. I don't feel like going home either because Mommy dearest has already begun nagging and eating my head over various issues on the phone. I'm stuck. Save me someone. bleh.

I'm off now, its 3 and I need to sleep. Tomorrow's another boring useless day. *pfft*

Yawn Just Another Update.

2008-06-09T05:17:00.003-05:00

The following is what is going on:

I have not flown in 10 days almost. The weather continues to be throwing its never-ending tantrum, even I wasn't so difficult back home. Bah.

I have been thinking of the whole Indian Aviation Boom and the ocean of rumors surrounding it. It distresses me at times when I read things like how the job scene is really bad and that its the end and stuff like that. To think that I have no back-up except this is rather scary. But then again, I guess if you really are dedicated towards something then you shall certainly be taken care of. Self-confidence and prayer always helps ofcourse.

I miss Priyanka. I think she got abducted by the Boogie Man. I don't know what happened to her. She has not been online since ages now. She said that she is going to be busy with shifting into her new house but then now I'm wondering if she shifted galaxies. I also miss Czar. I thought of him first thing when I woke up today.

I have been experiencing a lot of vague dreams lately. The worst part being that remember mere fragments of them. Ugh.

I want to go back to India. I'm saturated here. It sucks. I wish to finish up here ASAP and get back in order to finish the rest of my requirements for converting my license and then FINALLY applying for those jobs, which according to many, are sparse as of now. But then I truly believe that if one is destined to get something then one shall, and hard work and effort always helps ofcourse. I don't really want to state other factors that can help getting a job over here because I feel that the aura of righteousness that I am weaving into this post shall be ruined. So lets just leave it at that.

I spoke with Mom & Dad. They're doing good. The hamsters are doing well too. Altogether everyone is fine. I continue to harass Porus day after day with my never-ending paranoias and other related trivial and idiotic doubts.
Bhagya, a friend of ours who is about to get her CPL within a few days, is licing with us at the moment. She's fine really, I like having her around.

So much for an update huh? I swear I will update next time with a lot of energy and excitement fused into the post. Toodles for now.

Prayag.

Melodramatic Days, Whiny Nights & The In-Between Rambling.

2008-04-05T16:20:00.011-05:00

Craziness. I have no time to be me. My days are wasted due to the melodrama and my nights are burdened with endless whining. *I cant believe I;m complaining about the drama part*. Yes, I whine. I whine A LOT. But it cant be helped, its what saves me from falling into the pit of a nervous breakdown. I am tired of whining to Porus, who happens to contain an extraordinary amount of patience and understanding when it comes to ME.

Apart from the Balaji Telefilms soap opera-esque personal life, my professional life a.k.a flying is going fine albeit its slow. I hope things hurry up a bit.

I really wonder at times how things back in India must be. I miss Czar *my 3 year old ultra fabulous Golden Retriever*. I miss fighting with my maid. I miss ranting on the phone with Priyanka about my never-ending tales of disaster and drama. I miss doing those random stupid things I did. *sigh*

But I've been really happy here. I mean I have a great rapport with my instructor. Its always so great to have a relationship with your instructor more than just being professional. I'm really happy Lori and I are close. I found a good friend in her. The time between March and April 08 was highly strenuous for me. But then I think everything is fine now. It just is.

I suddenly remembered, mom got a new maid, Shakuntala. Due to me residing here in the U.S , I couldn't carry out my acidic assessment test so thereby I rely on my mom's skills on hiring this one. One may probably wonder why this maidservant hiring bothers me so much, but I assure you, its not as easy as it looks. Its a very complicated and tough job. Argh I ramble too much.

We made masoor dal and fried some salmon for dinner earlier tonight. I frankly find life a tad boring out here. Maybe its because we don't know many people here. The people we do know are from the flying school, and well apart from 3-4 of them , the rest are too depressing for my taste. *sigh*. I honestly cant wait to get done and get out of here. Also, something that has captivated me of late is the Sinhalese(that is what them Sri Lankans speak) language. It sounds so sensual. Lol. Me and my sudden obsessions.

The hamsters are doing fine (we have hamsters here, did I mention that?). I miss watching hindi TV serials back home when I was bored. How I miss gasping and being the running commentator. *Alas Alas!!!!*

I think I ought to blog regularly. Its just gonna be therapeutic as I told Sheila. I also think I ought to be the Crown Prince of Dramatics. I mean it.

I'm gonna post a picture now. Just for the sake of it. Sadly my virile mind seems to be unable in conceiving an idea that would be unique.. so for now picture-posting it is. Until next time!

Prayag.

A New Beginning!

2008-03-25T23:26:00.005-05:00

To all my prospective fans, friends, well-wishers and fairyfolk:
Welcome to my new abode! Yes, I chose Blogspot. After the tranquility of MSN spaces, I wandered aimlessly on cyberspace, searching for my new confessional desperately. With the same urgency that Victoria Beckham would exhibit if she was looking for the most glam dress to wear at a party 5 hours away, as though her life depended on it, I was too, a desperate blogger waiting to pour my heart out ASAP onto a suitable platform. Anyway, it took Porus 1 whole day to do this spectacular blog up. Yes mortals, its all HIS doing. *as the masses applaud Porus I feed him a gooey piece of Molten Chocolate Cake*.

So to the newbies: I'm Prayag Menon, aged 20, an uber dashing trainee pilot, Indian by origin, in the USA for my training. I'm the only child of my parents, I'm insanely in love with my dog, I have frequent world-wars with my maidservants back home and I'm also this superbly awesome person, with complete modesty and humility intact. As I listen to Fallen Angel Britney Spear's new single : Piece Of Me, my body desires to twitch to the beat, I feel happy and float in mid-air. No its not Britney who did that to me, its my serene state of mind. As I break into a regular pace of blogging in the coming days, I shall invite all you into the hustle-bustle of my life. Since its late now, I must, ofcourse, stop right NOW. I look forward to enjoying myself here quite as much I look forward to entertaining you with my banter. Signing off for now,

Prayag.

Confessions Of An Epic Dreamer

Pendulum.

God uses Kerastase?

A downpour of trouble.

Predators and Aisha, Bitches and more.

Banter so far.

Finicky DGCA and pending adventures.

Boo Tuesday, Maggi, Piggy Squealing and more.

June 2010 : Life so far.

Relief and Life in Bombay.

First class is SO out of class!

New job, New week.

What goes around FOR SURE comes back around.

R.I.P Jacko, India's Got Talent, Mood Swing.

Love Sex Magic

Bombing exams, Realizations & Czar's Baby Joy.

Done. Finally.

This Morning.

Back.

*Yawn* Just Another Update.

Melodramatic Days, Whiny Nights & The In-Between Rambling.

A New Beginning!

Yawn Just Another Update.